He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
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