Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
