I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize