highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize