i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
ok first of all what the fuck
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
