Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Randomize
