just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
So many bounce houses so little time
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I think pants incapable of making pants work
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
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