I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Randomize
