4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
