I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
