Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
