Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Randomize