are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
