I just cut my nipple shaving
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
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