literally had 100 drinks last night.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
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