Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
