Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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