Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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