Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize