I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Randomize
