dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Randomize
