i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
This is the high leading the old right now
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
