Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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