I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
wanna go halves on a baby?
Acid is not a monday night drug
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
Dicks are not precious.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I need to align my fucking chakras
Randomize
