called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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