So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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