I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Randomize
