we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
You ruined the universe
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
