just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
