When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
