I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Randomize
