idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Randomize
