you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
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