1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Randomize
