This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
