we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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