She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
