he wants to bone in the snuggie
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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