So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
