Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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