Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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