im drinking this country out of the recession.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Randomize
