Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I think your dad took our porno
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
