home. puking in laundry basket.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Randomize
