i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Randomize