Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Randomize
