I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
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