I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Randomize
