woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
