Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
we should paint friendship bongs
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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