I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
