why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Randomize