It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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