Nicole vs. Life
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Randomize