She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
