Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Randomize
