so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I have surprise drugs for everyone
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
