okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
