Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
please come you make the beer taste better
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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