Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
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