When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Randomize