I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
