I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
soo... how was my night?
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