I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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