Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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