dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
only if we run a train.
done.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Randomize
